With All The Appropriate Apologies in Advance ...

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the web

Many creatures were stirring, the Internet ain’t dead.

Wikileaks was regaling many people with tales

Of our poor chargés and their gentlefolk’s mails.

Obama was safe on a tropical isle,

Though Leon Rodrigues won’t be free for a while.

When out on the lawn there came such a noise

I thought Aaron was partying again with his boys.

I sought to divine the source of the clatter

And spied a short little guy who couldn’t be fatter.

Hey you, I yelled, at the crimson-clad stranger

You got the wrong house, we don’t have a manger.

We do not observe this holiday eve,

Nor consider it part of our liturgical weave.

I don’t mean to bring you down with the blues,

But see, at this house, well, here there be Jews.

Oh, that is all right, said the queer little elf.

I am just taking a break, and resting myself.

I landed right here to avoid all the lights

Showing up other places can contribute to frights.

Please don’t be fooled by my sartorial roses.

You see, I too, am a follower of Moses.

Who else, do you think, would be working on Christmas?

I schlep and I haul and I take care of business.

On this holiday, for my friends do you see

A mitzvah I do. For a very small fee.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

Merry Christmas to all. Oy Vey and good night.